A lot's been on my mind lately and I don't really have the best venue to vent other than a few close friends IRL. Something about "announcing" things on facebook and the like somehow makes it feel more official and offers a weird sense of comfort and resolution lol
Well first is that I got my first paying art job yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy LOL I'm freelancing 2d traditional animation for Titmouse! who would've thought.........since I think I kind of suck at animating haha but I'm grateful they gave me a chance, hopefully I can work my way into the company or switch to the design department lol
Seconddddddddddd is this thing that's creeping up on me and making me a little nervous and I know it's not a big deal but I can't help itttt T.T I found a small lump in my breast about 6 months ago by complete accident and after some testing I decided to get surgery next week to remove it and to free myself from psychological torture lol the experts suspect it's benign but you just can't help but think the worst :/ I'm just freaking out about surgery in general and being put under and leaving a scar.. like THANKS THE ONE THING THAT'S PERFECT ABOUT MY BODY LOL OTL thanks.
THIRD.. well I dunno I guess those are the biggest things that's going on XD other than that I'm actually really happy and I've fallen back in love with art (where I kind of lost it ironically during last few years of art school) and am really trying to discipline myself to improve and be better. I have crazy aspirations too, i'll keep those secret for now cuz it's sort of embarassing haha. But I have a lot of projects cooking up both personal and group!! and I'm just excited to draw now and get anxious when I don't. I always envied those ppl who drew as if was like breathing and I think I'm going towards that direction (still really far away though haha) I used to go months, literally MONTHS without drawing a single.. hair strand.. so yeah this is a big improvement and step in the right direction.
Lastly I know I'm like the biggest flake in the world and I like to make disappearing acts often,
but I seriously do appreciate any kind of support or just people that find my art the least bit amusing. I do it because of you, because your amusement brings me pleasure. Being older now I understand I "let a lot of people down", when i was younger i didn't really see it that way, i couldn't understand how i would be letting down my "fans". I always just thought "they don't care" or "it's not a big deal", but now as someone older I get it. I know my deviantart is dead and the onus is totally on me but I know there's people out there who still might be reading this so this is for you, thanks for looking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3333333333333333333